“K-Pass.” If you use that card for public transportation, they refund a portion of what you spend. So it seems my mom applied for a K-Pass card not too long ago.

Before the delivery person arrived, my mom got a call. After hanging up, she said, “It sounded like an elderly man… maybe someone doing delivery work as part of a public employment program.”

I wondered, “What kind of conversation did they have for her to guess all that from one phone call?”

Soon after, the delivery man arrived, and once my mom opened the door for him, she really had to stand there waiting for quite a while.

I had never seen it take that long just to sign and receive a card. The elderly delivery man kept sighing and grumbling to himself — or rather, at the device he was using. From what I could hear, it sounded like he personally travels around several designated areas to deliver these cards.

My heart felt heavy. My beloved parents are also “actively growing old” these days. So I’m learning, little by little, how aging is something that happens regardless of our will, and what it truly means to grow old.

The elderly man really struggled with his work. It’s probably hard for him to find a regular job now. That’s likely why he needed the support of an employment program like this card delivery service. And my dad… is it the same for him at his workplace? Not long ago, I was shocked watching him use his smartphone — he was unbelievably slow. Seeing him look at a pineapple or a box of cereal and not remember the name, calling it “lemon” or muttering, “What was that called again?” left me stunned all over again. How can the word “pineapple” just slip away like that...

That elderly man is no different from my dad,

and someday, I’ll likely lose many of my abilities too, just like them — even though none of us ever wanted that.

What does it mean to grow old? And in a society that grows colder by the day, where people only pretend to be kind when there’s something to gain, what place is left for the elderly? So many thoughts came to me. I don’t even know what this feeling is.