I'm taking an architecture class this semester. 

We have an assignment: pick a building nearby and explain it using the construction methods we learned this time.

Why am I even taking an architecture class?

There was a time when I wanted to study architectural acoustics while studying acoustics, but those programs are all in architecture master’s courses, and to enter a master’s in architecture you must have a bachelor’s degree in architecture. ... So I figured I’d try taking an architecture class first, and if I like it, I might finish my CS degree and then try architecture as well. 

But the moment I heard about the assignment, I thought, ‘Hmm... there’s nothing particularly interesting around me right now(just apartments)...  When I lived in France, there were so many fascinating buildings…’ So I asked the professor if I could use photos I had taken before, and she said yes

The house I lived in back in France was even built in 1877...! 

And on the way to the conservatory, there was a medieval cathedral...! 

She said it’s fine as long as I took the photos myself, so I opened Google Drive and started digging through my photo albums from my study-abroad days in France... 

But of course, instead of calmly finding building photos, I ended up sinking into pure nostalgia. 

While browsing the album, I found videos of me playing piano, and thought, “Oh? This performance isn’t bad?” So I uploaded it as a YouTube Short.

But with 500 views and just 1 like... the lack of response hurt so much that I deleted it right away. (Yeah... honestly, this is partly why I quit piano too. Me playing piano has never been popular.)

Then I uploaded another Short — a video of me performing Gershwin’s *Rhapsody in Blue*, where I had written the cadenza myself — but again, no reaction! But since this one isn’t just a typical performance but something I actually created, the lack of response didn’t hurt as much, so I left it up. 

But I don’t know… I started getting anxious.

When I wasn’t doing anything, at least I could daydream that “if I just try something, I’ll get some kind of reaction.” But as I kept trying things, I suddenly realized, ‘Right… I’ve never been a popular person in my life. There’s no way I’d suddenly become popular now…’ and that cold realization made a chill run down my spine. 

I want to become a star.